Why I Need to Write This Blog

In my previous entry, I wrote about my first editor, Ed Wall, who was a true role model for me. He is now 85 years old, and despite his serious ailments, he writes a blog that contains shining examples of good writing. Be sure to check it out at http://aepwall.blogspot.com/. He has inspired me to start my own blog.

For the first seven years of my career, I was a newspaper reporter and editor. This was followed by six years as editor of the alumni publication at The Catholic University of America. Those were very happy and successful years for me. I found that I was a good writer and photographer, and writing came very naturally to me. I even won a number of local and national awards for my work, and I got to know some of the best people in my field.

Unfortunately, Catholic University didn't pay very well and my family was growing, so I started to work for a series of research organizations, trade associations, and professional membership societies. These jobs provided very little opportunity for original writing or good photography. Instead, because the publications that I was editing were dependent on members for their content, I spent most of my time editing and attempting to salvage poorly-written content from bad writers.

I found that by being constantly exposed to bad writing, my own writing suffered and no longer came naturally to me. I suffered constantly from writer's block and when I finally managed to write, it was like pulling teeth and the results were very discouraging.

Lately, I have been specializing in proposal management, which does not leave much room for creativity. I do it because the work pays very well--about twice as much as non-technical writing and editing. I need the money badly but I get very little personal satisfaction out of the work. I do get some satisfaction when a proposal that I have managed helps my client to win the contract, but the satisfaction comes from knowing that I have helped to create or protect jobs for my client's employees. I've found that every company has decent, hard-working people who deserve my best effort.

My financial situation is such that I will have to work as long as I am physically able to do so. I have my share of medical problems. To complicate matters, I have suffered from chronic depression for the past 30 years, and there are many mornings when I have a hard time getting out of bed.

I'm writing this blog to protect my sanity and to give myself a reason to get out of bed on those difficult mornings when the depression has taken hold. I need to write about things that I care about, even if nobody reads my posts, and I need to prove to myself that I can still write well. The more that I write, the easier it will become. My physical problems pale in comparison to Ed's, so I've said to myself that if he can still write well and often, then I can too.

Ed, you taught us so much those many years ago at The Catholic Review. I want you to know that as far as this writer is concerned, you're still teaching us.